CONCERT OF PRAYER

Pray Week 716

“Listen then Talk”

Col 4:6 (ESV) Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.
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Have you ever observed a couple or group discussion where everyone is talking at the same time? No one seems to be listening as the volume of their speech steadily increases as each attempts to be heard over the other.

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak … – James 1:19 (NIV)

A life guiding principle relative to our speech is to learn to talk to others rather than talk at them or about them.

AT – We talk at people when we use our words as weapons and hurl them at others. Talking at people seeks to shut them down and dominate them through the sheer volume and quantity of our words. It can take the form of shouting and often transitions into hurtful and malicious words carefully chosen to take advantage of known vulnerabilities in the other person. An environment where people talk at each other is a hostile and toxic environment and it destroys peace in our homes or places of work.

ABOUT – Talking about people is gossip which becomes a divisive force in a place of work, neighborhood, church or extended family. Gossip is an easy trap to fall into. God’s Word likens gossip to that of ‘choice morsels’. Be wary of gossip that is disguised as a ‘prayer chain’ in your church. Sometimes you cannot help but hear gossip. You, however, have a choice whether or not to repeat it. God’s Word says that without gossip a quarrel dies down. Be a peacemaker and don’t fuel the fire by repeating what you heard.

Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down. As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife. The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man’s inmost parts. – Prov 26:20-28

TO – Gracious speech stems from learning the discipline of listening. Discernment and wisdom from God work through a discipline of active listening. Active listening is more than being quiet while the other speaks. It is intently listening seeking to understand what is being said rather than silently formulating your rebuttal while waiting for the other person to take a breath.

People want to be heard and acknowledged. Your next words should be a paraphrase of what you heard as a test of your understanding. Only after the other party feels you understand their point of view should you voice your own opinion. It is only then that they are receptive and open to hearing what you have to say. The same rules of paraphrase, reflect, and test for understanding now apply to the other party. This is when dialog and real communication occur and God can minister through the interchange. Imagine how much strife would be avoided in our marriages, homes, and places of work if people would listen first to others seeking to understand before seeking to be understood.

May the Lord gift you with a discerning heart and the discipline of active listening. May His peace and presence abide with you. May He bless you with gracious speech and minister through your daily interactions with others.

Close in prayer, thanksgiving & rededication of your work to the glory of God